Ah, the subject of friendship. What a broad topic. It will be discussed in a condensed version along with relating it with a song recorded by The Fray to assist in the explanation below.
Definitions of a friend. How does the Oxford dictionary define a friend? The Oxford dictionary defines a friend as follows: noun. a person whom one knows and with whom has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. Also, according to the Oxford dictionary, the word friend derives from an Indo-European root meaning “to love.” All of this touches the tip of my own definition. For me, and for many others, there are a few personal preconditions linked to the denotation which must be established before a person can attain friendship status. How do you define a friend? While embracing the formal description written above, my connotation applies to someone whom you know well and to whom you find trustworthy, therefore, inevitably developing platonic feelings. A stipulation attached to it all embodies sharing a few mild secrets between one another. Taking this definition one step further, a “best friend” plays a more significant role in life by being cast as someone whom you trust with your life combined with someone whom you share your deepest, darkest secrets. If someone whom you know well and whom you care for has repeatedly shown themselves to be unloyal, that someone might depict a friend by my description, but that someone is definitely not dubbed “best friend.” This is a huge variation in my heart. It is crucial for best friends to share everything in my book. Otherwise, whom will you count on through the ups, downs, and middles of life? Just a rhetorical question for the audience to contemplate.
The song. How does the song relate to the main theme? This may seem like an unnecessary question given its easy outer shell. Yet, breaking down the chorus into smaller sections puts more emphasis on its message. Prior to writing this post its topic occurred to me while singing along to “How to Save A Life” on my iPod. Of course, the theme regarding a lost friendship became apparent proceeding decoding Isaac’s muffled tone. However, it hit home recently as a consequence of resisting communication with my true best friend of 15 years. Our friendship changed after a four month period where we had not spoken stemming from me falling ill to the right knee’s nerves. Once functional enough to handle speaking on the phone again, the two of us noticed that neither knew the other anymore. Everything kept spiraling downward. Then, a terrible betrayal happened on my behalf.
About a year preceding her discovery, I accidentally let slip a giant secret to her cousin whom led me to believe my best friend had also confided in her. She even brought up the subject, but that is neither here nor there. Guilt and nausea immediately followed the inexcusable betrayal. Finding out about her cousin’s cluelessness caused me to be more cautious about what I say and what others around me say. A month to six weeks ago my best friend asked if I had told. My first reaction led me to reply with a playful no, afterwards, I responded with the truth. She said she forgave me but refuses to tell me anything too private without providing any statutes such as allowing me the chance to earn her trust. Both of us tried moving passed my betrayal but she continually became annoyed with so many things I said without intending to imply any hidden meanings. Apologies have been heartfelt. What else can I do? Being friends will never be the same if she does not want to share anything private. Referring to my definition encompassing friends, I would drop a notch to just a “friend,” rather than staying her “best friend.” This deeply pains my heart. But it would kill me to live with her missing in my life. Fighting with her represents something I loathe more than nearly everything else, but solving this mystifying. I love her! I love you Aria!
Iveta
Les Fays Mor, Coblyn 