My only sister came over with the purpose of dropping off my nieces whom spend every other Saturday night with my parents and me. Esperanza of five years and Adalicia of eight years love coming over, but their mother prefers to maintain her distance from her family on grounds to avoid their “judgments” about her decisions, which impact her children. Contradictory to my younger sister’s belief that we do not support her actions, and are therefore against her, support has never ceased from being given by any of us. In fact, guidance and advice is at her disposal, except she perceives opposing ideas as a means to judge. Ever since she broke up with her children’s father, paranoia stemming from a lot of misunderstandings and false accusations strewn about by all parties, even as far as three years post-break up, has enveloped her mind. Simultaneous to typing the earlier sentence I pondered the notion that perhaps her quick misjudgments, which imply her family’s obstructive attitudes, convey no relation to paranoia, but instead, to a representation of something deeper, like the fear of closeness.
Although, whether or not my sister suffers from paranoia is not really the issue at hand. Rather, the main issue encompasses a question which led to an unnecessary, one-sided, heated fight on my sister’s behalf. For she viewed my opinion on the question below as bizarre. Her opinion, on the contrary, struck me not only as bizarre, but as unconventional.
CALLING ALL PARENTS
Your opinion is being requested! Please answer the question below:
(SCENARIO): Your child turns eight-years-old. You invite your family along with your fiancé’s family. Counting everybody altogether you realize how big the party will be. Your fiancé’s column of the guest list includes eleven people and your column is filled with 33 people. 44 people represents a low average of people you usually invite so it does not pose a problem. Well, no problem until now.
Having been a single-mother for nearly three years you have difficulties completing certain transactions on your own. Child-support might be an option but you told the Father not to pay up, that you will see him in court. (More about the Father in a later post.) You wonder how you will afford a party since you are an adult and your mother nor your grandmother no longer hand over free money. It occurs to you to ask your mom for a loan, however, you are unsure of how to approach the subject for you have separated yourself so far from your mother that you do not know how to even have a regular conversation with her anymore. You give up on the former idea by deciding to skip a bill payment instead.
The birthday party finally comes round and your child mostly receives gifts in the form of heartfelt cards covered with cutesy animals and filled with easy cash so that the child could pick out something he or she likes as opposed to getting toys and clothes he or she refuses to play with or wear. Then everything becomes messy in the closet.
Okay. Let’s say that out of all the five dollar bills, ten-dollar bills, and maybe one twenty-dollar bill your child ends up making somewhere between $30 to $40. Now for the question!
(QUESTION): Your funds diminish from gathering all unspent means to throw a birthday party for your boy or girl whom turned eight. You remember the $40 resting in your child’s “Secret Box” under the bed. In need of money you finally decide to dash into the bedroom, to grab the money, and to exit the room holding $20 as you run to the grocery store. Never do you intend to replace the money you took. Whenever your child brings up the “lost” $20, you shrug it off by suggesting that he or she search for it. You say the same words every time the “lost” money is brought up. Also consider that the child is well-behaved.
Now, please say whether you agree or disagree with the Mother’s actions to take the twenty bucks.
In my opinion the Mother ought to put back the money she took. The mom would be stealing and lying by not returning it, which makes her hypocritical. There are certain rules that both parents and children must abide by. Stealing and lying are crimes when taken too far for a reason. (Yes! Lying in court is perjury.) Besides, you cannot expect respect from your children if you do not believe them worthy enough to respect as well.
The above ran through my mind, though not wanting to anger my sister, I continued with the notion that it was wrong for her to take Adalicia’s money. One point made happened to be that people gave the money as a gift to Adalicia, they did not give it to my sister to do with it as she pleases.
As for my sister’s opinion, she made it clear how broke she had been and could not afford groceries. Putting back the amount taken was unimportant because she pays for everything including: nice clothes, shoes and backpacks, not to mention, almost any toy inquired by Adalicia. In fact, she carried on by insisting that taking the $20 was not stealing, though, she could not explain why not. She blew up at me and the conversation moved to her issues with me feeling sick… But I will stop before I say something I might regret. I love her but she and I have grown apart throughout the past three years.
CIAO!
Iveta
Les Fays Mor, Coblyn 